Nothing good rhymes with Charlotte

  • ON RELATIONSHIPS
  • ON PARENTING
  • ON CONFIDENCE
  • ABOUT
  • HIRE ME

mind the gap

Less talk, more action

26/07/2015 by Charlotte 4 Comments

MIND THE GAP

You know how every now and then you read a thing that has such a profound effect on you that you decide to change the way that you are living your life as a result of it? Well, yesterday that thing for me was this piece on The Atlantic about The Confidence Gap between men and women.

I mean, we all know it’s a thing – that there’s a big difference in the way society makes us think and feel about how confident we should be about our potential, opportunities and right to success – but I had never really acknowledged the impact it was having on my life, and that if I’m going to get anywhere then I need to change it.

The piece was published back in May 2014 and I just happened to stumble upon it via Twitter yesterday. (You see, if you d*ck around on there enough, you will find the most incredibly useful things. Also cats, lots of funny videos of cats).

In short, it’s about all the different elements of our upbringing, and the ways we’re taught to perceive ourselves and others that affect each sex’s approach to applying for jobs, seeking out promotions, taking risks and following our dreams. And, most importantly, it’s about how, to truly get on, confidence is often much more important than competence. Yep, that way around. It jars a bit when you read it, doesn’t it, but I now believe it to be true. Believing in yourself and getting other people to do the same, is the very best thing you can do for your life, your career and your all-round success, and this is something which – as this article says – men are much better at doing than women. And the impact of that is huge.

Because what happens when you don’t have enough confidence to give something a try? NOTHING. Nothing at all. You might have all the intention and the want and enough of the skill to do a thing, but none of the confidence to actually make it happen so therefore it just won’t.

There are, of course, many, many people who buck the trend and there needs to be more of them – women who feel the fear and do it anyway, and who know that they are just as good and just as capable and just as deserving of opportunities as anybody else.

After reading this I realised just how much my own crippling fear was holding me back. A fear of rejection, of failure and, sometimes, just of speaking up and saying what I want in case it doesn’t work out. But how are you going to get it if you can’t even say it? Is that not just step one?

So thanks to this feature, I intend to make a change. If only I’d read it sooner. Less talk and more action (ok, fine, I will probably still talk a lot – I LOVE a good chat), and more just giving it a go instead of holding all my ideas close, waiting for someone to come round to my house and ask me to share them with the world, because I just don’t think that is going to happen (and anyway I live in London, I don’t answer my front door unless I’ve recently ordered a takeaway).

If you haven’t done so already, I very much encourage you to read the whole piece. If you see yourself here then why not join me in making a change, and if you don’t, please tell me how you’ve managed that. I’d genuinely love to know.

Thank goodness for the internet and it’s marvellous power to change the way we think with just one article. High on my list of aims is to one day write a thing that has that exact same effect. There, I admitted it. And now that I’ve said it, I’d better get on and do it.

Posted in: ON CONFIDENCE Tagged: change, confidence, dreams, goals, mind the gap, self esteem, the confidence gap, twitter

Follow me on Instagram

Sharing a dressing table with a 19 month old is su Sharing a dressing table with a 19 month old is super relaxing, really recommend it 💛
The light amongst the bleurgh of our illness horro The light amongst the bleurgh of our illness horror show week provided by finding that Isla had written me this little note at school. It's a massive deal to us that she can do this now and I hope the novelty of it never fades 🧡
Happy New Year! I've written about feeling too ove Happy New Year! I've written about feeling too overwhelmed by the general demands of parenthood/adulthood to come up with ambitious new year's resolutions. I'm trying for more of a 'Keep what works, bin what doesn't' approach to 2023. You can find the post at nothinggoodrhymeswithcharlotte.com, should you like that sort of thing. Much love 💖
Christmassy silliness and prettiness at @lightopia Christmassy silliness and prettiness at @lightopiafestival with @radcliffe_hart 🎄❤️
Heading out into the cold for a much-needed break Heading out into the cold for a much-needed break from pulling baubles off the tree/trying to pull the TV on our heads ❄️💝🦖
We're all swinging from joy to chaos to full-scale We're all swinging from joy to chaos to full-scale meltdowns and back to joy again at approximately five minute intervals and I don't see that changing any time soon. #December
Friday night dinner with two of the best 💖 Friday night dinner with two of the best 💖
She turned 5 today 💖 She turned 5 today 💖
Packed up our chaos and took it to the seaside for Packed up our chaos and took it to the seaside for an all weathers half term stay. Rain or shine, it's always good to see the sea 💙
Half term has commenced 💖💛 Half term has commenced 💖💛
Load More... Follow on Instagram

Follow me on Twitter

Tweets by @CharlotteBuxto

Search this blog

Copyright © 2023 Nothing good rhymes with Charlotte.

Omega WordPress Theme by ThemeHall.