freelancing - Nothing good rhymes with Charlotte

Hit the f*ck it button: On finding the courage to just do it anyway

13/08/2017 by Charlotte 2 Comments

One of my very best friends uses an excellent phrase that I’ve been adopting more and more in my everyday life.

She calls it ‘Hitting the f*ck it button’.

You do it when you’re just DONE. Done worrying, done being afraid, and done doing what you think everybody expects you to do. You hit the f*ck it button and find the courage to see where it takes you.

And mate, it’s a great button. I encourage you to bring it into your life.

I realise I’m using it every time something SCARES THE LIVING SHITE OUT OF ME but I do it anyway. Let me give you some examples of where it’s really come in handy.

This one time, I met my husband.

I was NOT in the mood the night I met Leon. But it was a friend’s birthday and the last night of the second year at university so, sure, I went out. My friends had been telling me how great this guy was for ages and I remained cynical. I’d met guys before and they’d not always been so great. But BOLLOCKS TO IT, I thought, I can say hi. So I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said hello. Such behaviour was profoundly out of character for me, but I’d hit the button. I had nothing to lose and, as it turned out, absolutely everything to gain.

Another time, I buggered off to Australia for a bit.

Two years ago, my husband had the opportunity to go and work abroad for a few weeks. And I was just about to be between jobs so I decided to go with him. It felt insane as I didn’t know what I’d do when we got back, but when else were we going to go to AUSTRALIA? I rang my friend – coiner of the ‘f*ck it button’ – to ask if it was a good idea. She said “Well, you rang me, so you’re clearly looking for a yes because OBVIOUSLY that’s what I’ll say”. (Isn’t it funny how who we choose to go to for advice tells us everything we need to know about the advice we’re looking to hear?). So I found the courage, hit that button and I went. And it remains some of the most fun I’ve ever had.

We decided to try and have a baby.

If you thought too much about having a baby, I swear nobody would ever do it. Like, if you really considered in detail the likely pain and discomfort and the lifetime of WORRY, how would anybody find the courage? So, this is where the button comes in handy. I knew we wanted to have a baby (and that we were in as good a position as possible in our lives to go for it etc. etc.) so I couldn’t let fear get in the way. I told myself I would worry about the detail of the birth and parenthood once the baby was in existence. And now, here we are. I’m 25 weeks pregnant and taking it day by day.

I took up freelance writing.

Sometimes I have lots of work and sometimes I have none. And the only way I can get more work is by putting myself out there. By coming up with ideas and sending them out to people. By gathering the courage to email strangers to ask if they’d like to give me money in exchange for words. And apart from the message I write in my correspondence I have no control over what they think of me. There is every chance that every one of them will think I am a moron. But if I DON’T contact anybody, I’ll get nowhere. So every week I hit that button and I keep on trying.

It really is a marvellous device and I’m proud of myself every time I push it.

Thank goodness for Big Magic

Another excellent woman who encourages similar behaviour is Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Big Magic – Creativity Beyond Fear.

I love reading books and articles designed to give you the courage to be braver, and this one had the most profound impact. The combination of this book and the knowledge that the best things in life happen when you hit the f*ck it button have given me the courage I needed to be bolder.

Big Magic is about not letting fear stop you from doing what you want to do, and creating what you want to create. I took so much from this book but these are my favourite lessons:

Do it because you love it – everything else that comes of it is a bonus.
If you don’t pursue your great idea, before long somebody else will.
You have to accept that fear will inevitably always be with you. You just can’t let it guide your decisions.
Anything bad for you is bad for your work (with the exception of Jaffa Cakes, I’m assuming).
If you get a no, move on and offer your idea/work/whatever to someone else.
Done is better than perfect.
OF COURSE you have the right to be creative, you have that by just being alive. You don’t need anybody’s permission.
Don’t worry about being original, be authentic.
Don’t actively try to write something that helps people. Just write and if it helps then GREAT.

If you’re following any kind of creative dream, I really recommend reading it. If nothing else, you’ll find you’re suddenly out of excuses not to give whatever you want to do a try.

Fear is boring, because fear only ever has one thing to say to us, and that thing is: ‘STOP!'” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Getting older has given me feel a much greater, more urgent need to be brave. Because with everyday that I’m not, it’s only me that loses out.

So I’m going to keep Big Magic’s lessons front of mind, and I’m going to carry on creating without fear (or at least without paying too much attention to fear). And I’m going to keep on hitting that beloved f*ck it button.

Because life just keeps getting more interesting every time I do.

My egg timer is my best friend – 9 lessons all writers learn

10/04/2016 by Charlotte 4 Comments

Do what you love I’ve been pretty busy. I’ve been working a lot, I’ve been writing a lot and, as a result, I haven’t been blogging so much because, well, I’m not a machine.

I don’t like it when I don’t have time to throw some words down on here. Writing this blog helps keep me in touch with whatever readership I’ve managed to build (HI MUM!) and it also keeps my thoughts in order.

When I haven’t written a post for a while I get nervous – that I’ll have forgotten how to do it, that my creative ability will have disappeared never to return, and that when I do write something, my readers will respond like a cat that’s been left alone for the day – dismissive, cold, and off out the back door to see what somebody more loyal has got to offer them before I’ve even had the chance to explain or pour out some milk.

But I guess this is an inevitable consequence of gradually getting more writing work and, aside from the unfortunate neglect of Nothing good rhymes with Charlotte enthusiasts, it’s something I’m starting to feel good about. Baby steps are still steps, dear friends.

You might remember that a few months ago I wrote a little piece about the things you have to do when starting out as a freelance writer. I stand by them all and now have even more lessons to add to the list.

1. Your egg timer is your best friend. No, really: We don’t go for cocktails together or discuss our boy problems, but my egg timer and I might as well, considering the amount of time we spend together. If I want to get anything done, I have to set my egg timer for 20 minutes, half an hour, or an hour to force me to concentrate. While that clock is ticking, I am not allowed to dick around on Twitter, feel inadequate whilst looking at Facebook, or scroll through Instagram and wonder why I fail to live my entire life against a perfect white backdrop. No, I have to work. And when the timer dings, I am allowed to go to the toilet, make a drink, and then sit the hell down and start again. This is what discipline looks like in the modern world and I don’t know what I’d do without it.

2. You have to do the work whenever it comes: As somebody who has spent almost every Sunday during the last five years strapped to a laptop, I am used to handing some of my weekend over to work. I have made a life choice which requires such behaviour. But as my writing work has very gradually started to grow, I’ve had to give up more than the occasional Sunday. You do the work whenever it needs to be done – whether that means the evening, early mornings, or an entire weekend. It’s a little tough to get your head around at first but when you’re trying to build something of your own, there’s really no other way to do it, especially when you still have a day job most of the week, as I do. But the fact that it belongs to you means you won’t really mind at all. You’ll just be a bit tired and consume more snacks than you ever thought possible.

3. Say yes and say it quickly: It’s extremely annoying when people tell you that success is often down to being in the right place at the right time. It’s even more annoying when they tell you that it’s also all about who you know. But they’re right. You’ve got to leap the moment you see something come up, otherwise somebody else will get in there first. You’ve got to tell the people you know what you’re trying to do so that maybe one day they’ll employ you to do it for them, or recommend you to somebody else. Just like when my mum told me that if I ate a whole bag of Cadbury’s chocolate buttons before I went to bed I’d get a stomach ache, it turns out people only say these things because they’re true.

4. …except to requests for you to write for free: Being asked to work for free is just part of the writing game these days unfortunately. When you’re at the very start of your career there is real value in taking all the opportunities that come your way – like any industry, everybody needs work experience – but then comes the moment when you realise you’ve done your time, you know what you’re doing, and you’re in this to make a living. Getting there felt bold but good and I won’t be turning back.

5. You have to be single-minded: I have to completely ignore my husband a lot of the time. He has become used to sitting in the house with a woman who speaks only to request a drink, ask if there are any Muller Crunch Corner yogurts left in the fridge, and to request that he please turn Better Call Saul down as she’s trying to concentrate. This was not included in our wedding vows. But then neither was the promise that being married to a lawyer would mean I could no longer enjoy legal dramas without constant reminders that they’re simply not realistic. We all have to make sacrifices. I am very grateful for the constant, unquestioning support I receive and without which attempting to follow my dreams would be a lot harder. From the looks of things, he is also grateful for the unlimited X-Box time that my pursuits enable him to incorporate into a weekend.

6. Repetitive strain happens: I reached peak First World Problem after a solid weekend of tapping away on my Mac when I realised I’d developed a repetitive strain injury throughout my right arm. My hand became a claw, my arm a solid block of ache, and my shoulders were so tight I think even the most skilled masseuse would have struggled to make a dent. I recommend learning how to operate a mouse with both your hands to avoid such injuries.

7. If you have to, buy yourself a rest: When you work for yourself and your house is your office, it can be a little tricky to switch off. Technically, you could always be doing some work, writing a pitch, or editing whatever nonsense made its way into your notebook that day. But that way lies exhaustion, tetchiness, and an all round rubbish house partner. You need to stop. And if that means paying to access your local spa, or for a train ticket to your mum’s house where she will speak to you like she used to when you tried to stay up beyond 10pm on a school night if you so much as look at a laptop screen, then so be it.

If you have to, buy yourself a rest 8. Telling somebody about an idea makes you feel accountable to them – and that’s a good thing: Like most people, I have lots of ideas every day. Some of them are creative and useful, and the rest could all be listed under the heading ‘Meals to which I could legitimately add cheese’. I’ve had a couple of ideas for longer form pieces of writing I’d like to do for a while but have been too scared to start. But then I told my husband and a couple of friends about them and now I feel like I have to give them a go because they’re going to ask me for an update and I do not like to let people down. If you don’t have a deadline created by an editor or an agent, I recommend making some up and getting people you like to hold you to them. If they’re real friends, they won’t stand for it when you try and use ‘being seriously behind with Coronation Street’ as an excuse for not having done any writing.

9. Rest assured, there is value in what you’re doing. As I’ve mentioned before, Wednesday is my most precious writing day. I experience a mix of emotions every week – sometimes I’m excited to get going on a project or to look around for work, and on others I sit staring out of the window and wonder what ever possessed me to spend my life in this way. This week started with a familiar bout of melancholy (not helped by having to dedicate half the day to filling in my tax return *twitches*) so I decided to start by listening to this recording of a speech by the author A.L Kennedy on the importance of the arts and writing and the difference it can make to people’s lives. It’s really quite amazing and gave me all the motivation I needed to get going. Because of course there is value in what we have to say and in expressing ourselves through our words.

Sometimes it helps to be reminded of that.

Life lessons from Bridget Christie: Write about the things you care about

10/02/2016 by Charlotte Leave a Comment

20160207_121956-1-1 I’m a huge fan of Bridget Christie. I wrote in my 2015 round-up that her book A Book For Her was the best thing I read last year, and I think it’s actually one of the best things I’ve ever read. It’s very funny and it taught me a lot about feminism. I devoured it like one might a bag of crisps after a long walk. I just couldn’t get enough.

As I said in one of my last posts (about what Tina Fey’s book Bossypants taught me about how she and Amy Poehler avoid worrying about what other people think), it means so much to have role models who talk about how they have found a way to get to where they want to be. I’ve reached a stage in my life where I can’t get enough of hearing how other people do it. Strange, isn’t it, how when we no longer have to learn, we suddenly want to do as much learning as possible.

Bridget Christie has been on the comedy circuit for years. She used to, as she puts it, dress up ‘as dead kings and insects and plagues and fire and things like that’. Then, just when she was thinking about giving up on the whole comedy thing, she decided, for her final hurrah, to write a show about a topic she’s genuinely interested in: feminism. And, much to her surprise, it changed everything. She won the 2013 Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Award for her show A Bic For Her and the rest, as they say, is history.

I went to see her most recent stand-up show – also called A Book For Her – at the weekend and it reminded me of what following her success has taught me.

This is a woman who has done really well because she’s extremely talented and hilarious, but also because she had the guts to write and to talk about what matters to her (and what should matter to everyone).

20160206_115021 We’re all better at our work when we focus on something that interests us. It’s obvious – the more we care about something, the more of ourselves we’re going to put into it. And the more of our heart we put in, the better we’ll be at encouraging other people to be interested in it too.

As I talked about not so long ago, I’m starting out as a freelance writer. I am trying to make my way in a sector which is already seriously oversubscribed and I find it extremely overwhelming. Wednesdays are my assigned writing days (although I obviously do it more frequently than that and think about it ALL the time) and I have regular dips where I wonder what on earth I think I’m doing, who I think I am, and why I’m even bothering because CLEARLY THERE ISN’T ROOM FOR ME.

Now, this voice is not to be listened to – it’s just the sound of imposter syndrome which most of us experience every day one way or another. So to try and avoid it, when I’m struggling to know where to put myself, I go back to my list of things that I am most interested in. The things that I like writing about, that I know about, and where I really have something to offer. And from there, well, the ideas gradually start to come. It’s very much a work in progress, but it’s a starting point, and we all need one of those.

Of course, it’s not possible to just work on things you’re most interested in all the time – girl gotta get paid, yo. You also need to keep an open mind because you never know which new things you come across might make it onto your list. I’ve found myself writing about topics which I might not have previously thought would be my bag that have then turned out to be something I’ve loved looking into.

But when things are quiet on the work front, or when you have some spare time, it’s good to do a bit of writing just for the love of it about whatever it is that you want to talk about. Because that way is sure to lie some of your best work and you just never know where it might take you.

Who knows it could be an award winning stand-up show or an amazing book. Or it could just be a blog post that your mum is kind enough to read. Either way, you’re bound to have some of your happiest hours just getting it onto the page.

I’m always looking for my next source of inspiration to join Bridget, Amy and Tina (sure, we’re on first-name terms) on my list of go-to people for a spot of reassurance that even the very best of writers have their struggles. So if there’s anybody whose words and tales you find particularly helpful, please leave me a comment/send me a tweet/carrier pigeon and let me know.

6 things you have to do when starting out as a freelance writer

16/12/2015 by Charlotte Leave a Comment

Friends, I’ve gone part-time.

I’ve been talking about doing this for so long. I wanted to have just one day to myself every week that I could dedicate to writing, to building a little freelance world for myself, to focusing on the work I already have, to pitching for some more, and to working on some creative projects too.

And now I have it. In many ways I am living the dream. That is, if your dream is to spend a day each week suffering from imposter syndrome and looking at the sky and hoping that all of the work you could possibly dream of will just fall out of it and then crying as you realise that life doesn’t work like that.

Until recently I did all of this on Sundays. I wouldn’t allow myself to leave the house (except perhaps to pop out for a milkshake because I have NEEDS) and it started getting a bit unhealthy (the strawberry shakes may have had something to do with that). I didn’t let myself rest or really enjoy myself and I’d wake up on a Monday feeling like I’d been out raving all night, when in fact I’d just been staring at a computer screen all day.

But then I realised that perhaps there was another way. That I could still work and be part of a team (I’m a comms manager/copywriter type person the other four days of the week), write, and have a life by changing my working life a little. I am delighted that it’s been possible so now Wednesdays belong to me. I still need and want to write at the weekend and at other times too, but things are a bit more balanced now which is lovely.

I opted for Wednesday on the basis that people I email would hopefully be more likely to engage with what I send than they might be closer to the weekend, and also because Tuesday – formerly the absolute worst day of the week – now has a slight feeling of Friday about it (although I keep that to myself because sentences like that just make people hate you).

So now I am figuring out how to get the most from my day. I’ve had just three of these precious Wednesdays so far and even in that short time I have learnt a few things that I realise are essential for this freelancing game. Should you be interested in a similar lifestyle, here are six crucial things I recommend doing:

1.GET UP

It is not the weekend. You are not on holiday. You will not be paid for a single second of this day unless you find yourself some work. In fact, a lot of the time you will make a loss because you will inevitably go to Starbucks and buy a dense chocolate brownie in the hope that the answer to all your prayers is hidden inside it. Spoiler: it isn’t but they are delicious.

2.GET DRESSED

If you’re anything like me then you will at least feel a bit more like a serious person if you’re wearing actual clothes and maybe even a bra. We both know that you don’t have to do this. You could stay in your pyjamas all day but if you do that it’s going to make it much more awkward when you…

3.LEAVE THE HOUSE

Go out. Go sit in a cafe and write emails. Or write notes. Or have thoughts. Or read something. Or go for a walk. You are running your own thing. Be free to do that thing in the best way and place that suits you. Let your brain breathe. Feel good about this opportunity. Smile at a dog or a baby. And then come back home before it gets dark and use that refreshed mind to KEEP GETTING THINGS DONE.

4.SEND THAT EMAIL. SEND ALL OF THE EMAILS.

Nobody is going to reply to your email if you don’t send it in the first place. That’s kind of the way correspondence works. The same goes for your tweet, letter, phone call or carrier pigeon. It’s frightening – SO frightening – but literally nothing will happen if you don’t do it. Nobody will know you exist. So have a good think, write down some words, have a little walk to the fridge, read it again, and then HIT SEND. (And do this about a billion times).

5.PUT YOUR BLOODY PHONE DOWN

WhatsApp is fun, yes, but it can wait. Yes I know you want to tell your mate Sarah how sweet you look in your new hi-top trainers but such words are not going to get you any dollar, are they? (I am telling myself off here. I did this today. I was right, they look ace, but I should have been WORKING NOT FANNYING ABOUT). Do not seek out distraction. Do not consider today the ideal opportunity to do a Facebook cull or to attach amusing photos to each of your phone contacts. Do that tomorrow on the train like a normal person.

6.WRITE

If you’re a writer then you need to write things. Make time to do something creative. Yes, you need to email people and pitch and put yourself out there but you will be all the better at it if you keep writing creative, fun things and reminding yourself why you wanted to do all of this in the first place. It’ll also help you maintain the will to live when nobody is replying to you, which is important.

So yeah, I’m learning.

And I’m scared as hell because it feels like a very bold thing to admit that you are trying to do something. But, as mentioned above, there’s no other way.

If you have any tips I should add to my list, please do send them to me. I’d love to have another reason to be utterly distracted from what I’m supposed to be doing…

Goal for 2015: Be less afraid

04/01/2015 by Charlotte 4 Comments

A very happy 2015 to one and all.

With the festive excitement out of the way, my mind has turned to plans for the year ahead and, inevitably, to resolutions. After much thought I have realised that all of mine fall under one heading: Be Less Afraid.

Although in some cases a spot of fear helps to keep you safe, (for example, when I was offered the opportunity to get into an enclosure at a reptile park in Bali with a crocodile for a photograph, I politely declined on account of my fear of being eaten alive), it can also be rather restricting.

A fear of pitching will massively reduce my chances of getting more writing work and I’d very much like some; a fear of judgement means I may never speak to anybody again and I LOVE a good chat; and a fear of making bad decisions means I may have to opt out of making any decisions whatsoever, which in itself feels like a bad decision. I also haven’t been to the dentist for six years because I’m scared, but I do rather like having teeth so I’m just going to have to grin and bear it (and maybe ask my mum to come with me). These fears will only hold me back when I’d really rather be moving forward.

A fear of what people think is the trickiest of all to shake. My aim this year is to remember that it is not something that anybody can control (and also that most people spend most of their time thinking about themselves and when they will next get to eat or go to bed. I know I do). Of course there are ways to influence it – be nice and people will most likely think that you’re nice; behave like a tool and people will probably just stop texting you back – but beyond that, we can only waste time wondering. All that thinking might make us miss a nap or a meal and that just won’t do.

I had a big sort through my tights and socks drawer yesterday (just like every out of control party girl does on a Saturday afternoon) and I adopted a policy to help me decide what to bin – does this bring me joy? When working through a collection of tights so laddered it’s a wonder I haven’t yet been arrested for indecent exposure, it’s quite easy to answer that question, but I’d like to try and apply it to other parts of my life (or at least everything over which I have a choice/control. Emptying the dishwasher definitely does not bring me joy but eating cheese from each and every clean plate in it certainly does. You’ve got to take the rough with the smooth). I will give it a go and if the answer is no then, where possible, I just won’t do it.

It looks and sounds very bold and clear when written out but this sh*t is very hard to crack. But writing it down is a start, as is realising that doing the opposite will only keep you awake at night (which is no good for me as I’m also afraid of the dark).

So yes, less fear, fewer pointless attempts at mind reading and more joy will make for a lovely 2015. Because what is the point of doing anything else? If it’s not going to get me eaten by a reptile or make me miss out on too many meals, I reckon it’s worth the risk.

And you?