domesticity

Our kitchen is being refurbished tomorrow.

And, in preparation, we have had to spread its entire contents around our very small flat. The plates and glasses now live in the bath, the dining chairs and table are on the sofa, and the iron stands right in front of the television, taunting me when I try to relax.

I want this work to be done. I requested it and I’ll even pay for it in a few months’ time (thank you interest free credit), but it doesn’t stop me dreading getting home from work tomorrow to remember that the fridge is out of action and that the dishwasher – my dearest friend – has been unplugged until further notice.

I haven’t even had to put in that much effort. Although I came up with all the ideas – wooden worktops, an easy-wash floor and a cupboard specifically dedicated to housing Cadbury’s products – I don’t have much to offer on the physical front. I was in charge of moving the wine glasses into the bath (a location I might stick with post-refurb) and putting all the food that went out of date in 2012 in the bin. That’s it. But I am still shattered. Not so much from the tasks themselves (although I did have to throw an inexplicably high volume of ‘vintage’ flour in the bin *sneezes*), but from the chaos that now surrounds me and the promise of more to come.

This is what being an adult feels like: desperation to make things better and then exhaustion at the thought of the effort involved. I don’t know where all our energy goes. Perhaps we grow out of it.

Take yesterday. I wanted to buy new jeans. If you’ve ever been shopping for denim you will know that no activity on earth will bring a grown adult closer to tears. In fact, purchasing jeans would be an ideal punishment for somebody who has done something terrible – like saying ‘pacific’ instead of ‘specific’ or talking during Coronation Street. It is the single most frustrating and exhausting type of shopping and I just can’t do it anymore. My new strategy is to order a gazillion pairs online in the hope that one of the bastards fits, and then sending the rest back. Though how I’m going to muster the energy to try them all on, I do not know.

But for every tiring endeavour comes a silver lining. With a refurbished kitchen comes a week of eating takeaway and with an online shopping order comes post, and who doesn’t love post?

In just a week’s time I will have a brand new kitchen, cupboard space big enough to hold a year’s supply of chocolate, and a need to find something new to complain about.

And I reckon that ‘thing’ will be that I can’t fasten my new jeans. A week eating prawn crackers and egg fried rice for tea is bound to take its toll on my waistline. I’ll probably have to jump up and down just to get them over my hips and, to be honest, that’s more effort than I’m willing to put in.