As my regular readers will know, posts here at Nothing Good tend to come with a heavy portion of cynicism and a side order of “Look at that knob head!” with the knob head in question usually being me.
But today I thought I’d slap on a happy face and talk about what’s good in the world. Maybe it’s the wedding I went to yesterday that made me cry tears of joy approximately four times, or perhaps it’s the Cadbury’s Dairy Milk I had on the way back. I don’t know, but I’m in the mood to give it a shot.
I’ve done a fair bit of moaning recently – about being tired and broke and my kitchen refurbishment taking weeks and weeks to finish and blablablabla NOBODY. CARES. But that little nightmare is over now, and with a stomach full of home cooked grub, things don’t look so bad after all.
So here it is, six very simple things to be extraordinarily happy about. Let’s enjoy it while it lasts.
If the summer must end, and it must, then at least we can enjoy being back in socks and, even better than that, new socks, straight from the packet onto your feet. And if you really want to maximise the fun, may I recommend popping on a good pair of slippers and perhaps even a pyjama bottom to go with them. The fact that I don’t have my own line at Ann Summers remains astonishing to me.
I don’t care how old you are, sweets exist to make your day better. My husband gave me a bottle of strawberry mushrooms (above) for my birthday and I reacted like he’d give me keys to a Porsche – I was DELIGHTED. Give me a Porsche filled with sweets and I may explode. You know those programmes called stuff like ‘Brits Off Their Bits On Booze Whilst On Holiday And Not Wearing Very Much Which Really Makes The Whole Thing A Lot More Embarrassing”? I don’t understand why there has never been an equivalent made about people who have binged on sweets. One too many bags of fried eggs or dusty milk bottles and I’m hysterical with laughter, unable to stay upright and ready to hurl. ‘Brits Off Their Faces On Strawberry Laces’ is just a phone call away.
Yes, the programme is indeed something to feel extremely happy about (although the fact that I’m not allowed to own the box set in case it makes me even less inclined to go out than I am already remains a sore point) but this time I’m talking about actual human chums. I consider the fact that I have seriously good, marvellously interesting and funny pals a major achievement. I don’t need to join a gym, I just need regular catch ups with my friends. There’s enough laughing, gasping for air and flailing my arms about involved (it’s for dramatic effect, thanks) to rival any zumba class.
It’s good to have at least one good dance per day. And you don’t have to be at a party to do this (though give yourself a bonus ten ‘cool’ points if you do happen to go to such an event). Nope, you can be on the train, waiting to pick up something from the printer, or just hanging out in your kitchen, rustling up a marshmallow based snack. Wherever you are, a few swings of the hip are bound to make everything feel better. As to whether other people witnessing this act will feel the same level of joy is hard to guarantee, though if your moves are anything like mine, I’d say it’s unlikely.
5. An empty weekend!
Plans and parties and shindigs involving alcohol are great but you know what’s also swell? Staying at home and doing absolutely nothing. You can cook, you can clean and – fun fact – you can still have booze, just without the added risk of having to cope with public transport afterwards – brilliant! Hazard warning – to avoid causing too much damage, I do recommend cooking before cracking open any drinks. I understand kitchen refurbs can be quite the undertaking. *twitches*
6. Experimental fruit juice combinations!
Nothing can make me feel more positive about an establishment than the offer of a fresh mixed juice. I know, I know, I need to SLOW DOWN. Perhaps it’s the colours, perhaps it’s the flavours, or perhaps it’s the knowledge that there is actually something in the world that is good for you and delicious (nice try, kale). Whatever it is, that sh*t is good.
So there we are. A little happiness for a Sunday afternoon. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to hit the dance floor. And by dance floor I mean kitchen floor – I think the combination of new socks and new tiles is going to create something my neighbours are really going to enjoy.
Perhaps this post does feature a little touch of knob head after all.