Every couple should have at least one day of the year that they don’t waste fannying about on the internet.
And for us that day is today: our very first wedding anniversary.
But because I’m dedicated to this blog of mine (and a master of holiday packing avoidance) I wrote this week’s post in advance of our anniversary trip.
I’ve been thinking about this one for a while, about what this year has taught me. And aside from the fact that being referred to as ‘Mrs’ makes you feel at least 20 years older and that changing your surname results in more trips to the Post Office than any human should have to endure, the main lesson I’ve learnt is what marriage is all about: getting on extremely well with another human being, regardless of what life throws at you.
So to celebrate the fact that we’ve managed to get along for a whole year, I thought I’d share what I think it takes to do just that. Because what could be more romantic than a good checklist?
1. Marry somebody who feels the same about the apostrophe as you do. That sh*t will tear you apart.
2. Marry somebody who is willing to move train carriage just because the dude behind you is tapping his foot like an inconsiderate MORON. It’s crucial that you share the same level of hatred for strangers.
3. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you for binge consuming crisps/doughnuts/fried egg sweets. (And who understands that BINGERS DO NOT SHARE.)
4. Marry somebody you enjoy sitting in silence with. Marriage is at least 50% silence (eating, sleeping, staring at your phone) so you might as well make it comfortable.
5. Marry somebody who takes a different route to work from you. Everybody hates couples who commute together. Don’t be those people.
6. Marry a person who understands that just because they see you in pyjamas more frequently than actual clothes, it doesn’t mean you’re not still a hugely attractive and sexual being. You just also happen to enjoy wearing comfortable waistbands.
7. Marry somebody whose bath water you’re happy to share. What are you – made of money?
8. Marry somebody you can still fancy after seeing them throw up. Wedding vows do not protect you from food poisoning, as I found out ON OUR HONEYMOON.
9. Marry somebody you like very much. Forever is a long time.
Now, I’d better get on with my packing. And seeing as it’s such a special occasion, I may even leave my pyjamas at home.